December 7, 1933

I don't live there but I am there. My days are full of life and happiness but something is missing. She lived a good long life. Today she would have been 90. I wish I could have had one more birthday with her. I wish I could have shown her my love more. I wish I could have spent more time with her.Here is a quote that expresses so much ...But I have hope ... because I have God ... the book of Hebrews says 'Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.'My hope and faith are in God.

Grief is hard but we make it through. Right now grief for me looks like me walking around doing life in a normal way but inside I'm not normal. Inside there's a sadness. A sadness no one sees. But it's okay. It's life. If you see me and tears well up in my eyes I'm okay. It's just my bodies way of letting out some of what I'm feeling in my heart. The moment will pass and I'll be smiling again.

And so, while I can't wish her a happy birthday today and I couldn't paint her a little card or buy her some candy or send her a gift card for one of her favorite stores, I remember her today and I honor her for the Mom she was to me, for the woman she was, for the beautiful life she lived and for the life she taught me to live.